What Now Derek?
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Derek Myers and Dan Lee give us their reactions to life as old dads, modern life and a hankering for good news.

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    Metamorphosis

    This will be the final episode of What Now in this format. Derek and Dan will be continuing their weekly rants as a new podcast called "Hang On To Your Hat" which will be focussed on fatherhood and WE HAVE MOVED. please subscribe to the new site.... Hang On To Your Hat..We'll have guests and phone interviews. It is going to be great. As for What Now, Derek plans to rebirth it as a short daily news/ opinion show. That is also going to be a lot of fun.

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    Danny's Back

    Derek gets a spam call live on air. Dan's play Bottomless is in full swing so there's time to go see it. We discuss thin skin and coping with reviews. Dan surprises Derek with news of his next project. Shoutout to our listener Cherie and apologise for never looking at Twitter. The wall between the fictional ART of film and the behaviour expected when the cameras are off. Derek's new tech reveals we are recording a VIDEO. How do casting agents approach people for ugly parts? Do podcasters get the same licence to be offensive? We say NO. We catch up on the new tech at Castaway. all set for live streaming and video-ing podcasts. The secret life of twitter (and Cherie). JJ learns not to let me know what he's up to in bed before I have finished editing.

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    How to not die in Hanoi

    Dan and Derek catch up by phone during a hectic time for the both of them. Dan explains the way to not die in Hanoi traffic. Derek's famous (and soon to be more famous) desk goes on a journey. Dan's play coming up fast and our plans for the show next season.

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    Serious Grown Ups

    Derek and Dan finally catch up using magical phones and recorders. Derek is wrangling elderly parents as Dan begins rehearsals of his Australian debut play. That said, he has a play running in America and soon in England, but this is the first on home turf. We get an insight into the preparation involved in putting on a play, and how the writer's work is not over till the opening night. A plague hits the Lee household while Derek toys with doing the right thing for racehorses.

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    Religious Views are better with binoculars

    A quick phone call to Dan (in Broome until next week) to catch up on the news quickly slips into religion and a trip into the dark past. Thanks to our caller Cherie from Canberra, we explained the background of our relationship... from quoting Withnail and I on the beach in the early 90's to Dan wandering in with Missy years later. Apparently podcasting face to face is like AA, and a little like praying to a god who isn't there. Dan discusses the amazing contacts he has reconnected with while in Broom and how he has some good content for his upcoming (secret) podcast. Recording Space Gandalf, the home schooled astronomer sky-tour-guide and frogs barking. Perfectly normal things to do on holidays.

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    When Danny met Harry

    What Now host Dan Lee becomes the first Aussie podcaster to hang with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Yep, it is true. A big scoop for What Now. In this episode Dan discusses what it is like to chat with the Prince, and what it is like to be the Plus One at the big events. Somehow it gets onto our disgraceful interactions with the police in more youthful times. Dan is happy to be back in Broom and right now is probably standing on a deserted beach with a fishing rod. Pfft. can't be as good as typing shownotes in Preston while watching the Bachelorette.

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    Josh Janssen from the Daily Talk Show

    Josh Janssen, international podcaster joins derek while Dan is away. Josh, who partners with Tommy Jackett on the Daily Talk Show, talks with Derek about our similarities and differences as podcasters. The Importance of a tech setup and how that varies depending on each persons personality type. Derek fills in the weary traveller on highlights of OzPOD 2018, an ABC organised National Podcasting conference. (which was great BTW) A long day in the saddle was well worth it, from an insight into the big time podcast production styles through tech and sound engineering to Indy podcasters explaining how and why they got started. Dan's absence (and very good looks) is noted. We will let him tell us whay he is away... It is a SCOOP.,...

    Josh worries about bringing a kid into a doomed world, and Derek says ""breed an army of world savigng post-millenials"" We had better get ready to be despised by future gens. Veganism. Why are we discussing veganism?

    Derek's shopping bag guilt... we shall get there in the end. Habit changing and how to do it. The more common the addiction, the harder it is to give up. That's why sugar addiction is the big danger, as it is not only available everywhere, but advertised and is VERY similar to what you have to eat just to stay alive. Changing potato fries to sweet potato fries can be the simple change that taught a guy to be able to change more with confidence.

    What makes a guy take time out podcast every day of a dream holiday with his lover? Josh explains the answer.

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    Alas poor Yorick

    The The concert, dead cow in a Love and other bruises. D&D reminisce about the old days of eighties British Pop over sharers such as THE THE which leads Dan to share some of the dark observations of natures brutality that he made while growing up in the countryside of south Gippsland. Dan returns from Mardan and Leongatha with a roadside Bonsai that he liberated with a pic and shovel and Derek requires more information about tree collecting. How not to kill a Bonsai and the art of spotting animal bones from a moving car. Life and death on the farm. Killing rowdy roosters in Broome. Vietnam Veterens, Robot soldiers, Derek's bid for the Nobel Peace Prize, protecting the kittens at all costs, the back story of bones. The ethics of Bonsai, bird breeding and Guppy fancying. The quick guide to Guppy breeding.

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    Derek Has a new Button

    Body dismorphia. Pooing your way to weight loss and if that doesn't work get on the meth diet. Listening to kids music 'cause you're too old to cope with the emotions your old records bring up. Dan's Mum leaves a message revealing his fetish for drinking a baby bottle. Derek had a duck that had a cork screw old chap and other childhood horrors.

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    Fear or Battle prep?

    Through stuffed up sinuses, Derek discusses being aware of the possibility of a heart attack compared to Dan being aware of every single person in a crowded room. wiping the slate clean with grog. Is exhausting crowd consciousness due to fear, past trauma Or possibly a throwback to the fight or flight mechanisms that make you scan for enemies, scope the battlefield and plan your escape. 7 pints of cider a health day for North London Irishmen. Dan can't wait to have his brain plugged into the cloud. God help us if that is just mega cyber twitter. Optus help us to take moral high ground on over use of technology - because it doesn't work. Back to basics would be a great idea but will possibly be only available for the privileged. Baby Boomers broke the world, Gen X rode the destruction eating focaccia and buying houses off their own grandkids, Gen Y got busy making Millennials to train to SAVE us all.

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    Fat Boy Milkshakes or Pet Shop Tapeworms?

    Meal replacement drinks... why do they have to be dressed up to look and taste like the shit you shouldn't ever consume after you have lost the weight? Every bastard has weight loss advice for 100KG plus guys... even Dan suggests a big tapeworm and methamphetamine addiction. Mums were speed addicts Derek admits to just following nutrition advice that other blokes have paid for. Derek introduces a new podcast in production "The Good Paddock" that will go deeper into all this male weight stuff. We start a conversation about social media that has a long way to go....

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    Funded By Oz Tourism

    In one hour we cover....Yakandanda parma, Wake in fright, Crocodile Dundee Vs Wolf Creek, [Will Hanigan the pearl Dundee][1] Dating Demi Moore. Alby Mangels world safari. Hay-fever Noobs amuse Derek as they turn into sooky Dr Smith. The Baby Whisperer or Mrs Doubtfire with chloroform up her sleeve? Mortgage talk... zzzzz. pure boring evil corporate vampires. Also why would a corporation or local government begrudge a small payrise if it means losing half of their productivity? Dan once worked moving office furniture around and around the same building... I suspect candid camera. Derek retells his Dad's old Navy Stories. Old Tom built the engines for the last working British steamship. Eastern suburbs railway stations of the 1980's Setting Goals and achieving them, one trolley of beer at a time. Former death metal singer Dave Dread, who has been on a fascinating journey to happiness. Vegan stage spitting and fake talkback callers. Phew.

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    Anti-social Media?

    Derek attempts to stay up to date with social media and all its nuances, while Dan goes caveman on the whole thing.

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    The Bus Ride to Oblivion

    DEATH and the journey towards it. Dan has some ideas about how to make it a bit more interesting.

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    A Kind Word For Yoko Ono

    38 crank yankers. It takes a special kind of self loathing masochist or a saint to be a teacher. D&D discuss the merits and malice of being a teacher, followed by a Yoko appreciation session- it is agreed that she was ahead of her time and didn't deserve the hate. Dan briefly loses consciousness while Derek prattles about the Bachelor, Bachcraft, and fortnite. The very first messages are left on the what now special message service. Tuffy Selecta. Gun exposure in the 70's when everyone had an air riffle and shot their mates for recreation., "my dad shot someone", baby 2 novelty worn off from stopping everything, Hidden crazy people of Hanoi and the hairy nipple of disappointment.

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    So many spectrums

    37 D&D go deep, deep into a hole of despair and unclear gender roles before resurfacing only to confront the dangers of putting children in water. Should we just let go and let God decide or should we protect our children every second of every day. Is there enough love for two kids and if there is can you stretch that to your partner as well. The great foreskin debate turns into Dan probing Derek for any trace of transgender inclination- can we expect a lady Derek in future? Perhaps not. Dan unpacks his attempts to be gay in the old days, working at the hotdog stand at the Peel. Sexuality is a spectrum and in a world of spectrums is it okay to speculate about whether people are on one.

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    Don't Talk to the Big Ones

    D&D digress into the strange world of teenage ferreting but not before Dan could reminisce about the school Kidnapping trend of the late seventies, Derek knows too much about the leyland p76, and the time Dan took the guy from the Dandy Warhol's to the Tankerville. Don't talk to the big ones is the lesson learned the hard way. 9.5 million dollar holy hanky, Free range baby boomers and itchy grubs.

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    Hypochondria is a serious illness.

    The block universe theory sends the blokes up the garden path and into the maze of Derek's mind. What follows is a baffling sojourn into Derek's Spaghetti tree, frozen gelatine metaphor with additional comparisons to the NBN and fibre optics to the complete bewilderment of Dan. Is stealing from the council really stealing if you pay your taxes? Is masculinity really as toxic as everyone says it is? Is it safe to say what you think even if you might be wrong? Or should old white men just shut up from here on in? All this and more when you find yourself once again asking: What now Derek.

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    Flexing your Dad Muscle

    D&D confess to a shared love of seventies balladeers, Air Supply - Discuss their options when the kiddies ask the tough questions and cover such topics as: The Heaven's Gate Millennial Death Cult, bush-dancing for scooter nerds, the innocence of youth, recreational surgical castration and the Vatican's attempts to shrink a camel so that it might pass through the eye of a needle.

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    A lifeboat full of rich people

    Derek And Dan go DEEP. In this bonus Monday episode, the lads go straight into Christian religion. It's uses and flaws. The benefits of imaginary friends and ritual in human nature lead them to the conclusion that life would be easy without the crippling logic of atheism. Understanding - the basis of Derek's 80's hippy beliefs is the basis for the process of stopping the us vs, them mentality that is being used by politicians of all sides.

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    Don't Worry About America for now

    Derek and Dan agree that it is better to fade away than to burn out because fading away allows you to linger and annoy everyone around you. Where would the evolution of the Dad joke be with out the slow aggravating fade.

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    Meat puppets for alien gamers

    Dan promises to take it deep and delivers. Derek comes along for an existential roller coaster ride and comes up with some wack theories of his own

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    The 52 Storey Penthouse

    Dan and Derek discuss disastrous dad dilemmas, driving, debt, discount hotels and death.

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    Bottomless a play about Alcoholism

    Derek interviews Dan about the writing and producing of his play [BOTTOMLESS][1] which will open at [Fortyfive Downstairs][2] in November this year. The play is about black out street drinkers in Broome, Western Australia. Dan discusses his experience of getting sober and writing a play simultaneously and the broader issues surrounding alcoholism.

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    Enter The Pewter Dragon

    D&D embark on an embittered plea for more carnage on nature documentaries. Dan develops and allergic reaction to something during the podcast and starts sniffing and ranting like a good old fashioned coke head. This episode explodes out in all directions as Derek destroys a microphone, leaving Dan alone to sink into an existential millie from which he fails to emerge. this is one of the most frantic and meandering episodes yet.

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    Dan's New Boss

    A star is born. What now Co-host Dan checks in after the birth of his second child, Luna. We snatch up Sean Whelan to discuss his show this week. Derek covers - State School enrolment conspiracies, P.C. gone mad or simple respect?, Beer glass vernacular, Vlog vs V-log , the evolution of language in the modern era, how awesome (and prolific) is the Betoota Advocate ? love these guys. Why Aussie skit shows don't seem as slick as British or American ones, cassettes, mistaking open house inspection for a major drug sting. Kids will judge the hell out of us for these podcasts.

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    Gym powered clean energy & the birth of God

    This week D&D reminisce about moments of musical significance- AcaDaca- Tom Waits- Sherbet and wee Scottish rockers from the 70’s- Pilot. Derek shares his new conspiracy theory and the latest in renewable energy turns out to be harnessing the people power of gyms. Cellular biology, evolution and the birth of God as well as death, religion and Dogs.

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    Our naughty pasts in a Secretly taped production meeting

    The Monday episode is a chance to take a listen inside the post show production meeting of D&D. Some would argue that it is better than the actual show on Thursday slash Friday. Derek asks Dan about the days of pounding booze and drugs, to which Dan says "i hope my mum's not listening" knowing full well that she is. a conversation follows about recovery and return to the scene of the crime. We talk of Broome and life on the red carpet

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    Old Dad's outwitted by Toddlers plus the pitfalls of white guilt.

    D&D continue their journey to become better men and better fathers! They attempt to untangle the diabolical psychology of Toddlers and discuss the increasing fear of "getting it wrong" that haunts the ageing, well meaning, progressive, white male. They take the first steps toward conquering the crippling guilt that has blocked them from engaging more courageously with Aboriginal Australia.

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    Homeless in Glastonbury, Home on Mars

    EPICISODE. Derek and Dan got so carried away talking about a miserable life on mars, cult leaders (and how to be one) and Glastonbury in the 90's that an hour went by before we even got to our intended topics. The result will be a bonus episode in a few days.

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    The two old blokes from the Muppets ranting about fatherhood

    Introducing co-host Dan Lee. We chat about life as an older dad, school bullying and poo. Plenty of poo. Does frozen poo really fall from aeroplanes? I don't see how. speaking of aeroplanes, hear about My 12 hours on a flight with 400 others and NO TOILET. The unnatural nature of childbirth.

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    The Twitter Trap knows no boundaries

    even Elon Musk can fall into the Twitter trap . I discuss fad diets, rock influences and reveal the formats of a few shows I am producing.

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    Home Sweet Home: a show from the couch

    Media Rigged Elections -they get away with it every time. Brisbane uber driver lost it in the floods. Attempting to do a show at home is fraught with danger. Blow up baby trump, or a blow-up baby trump. Boris Johnson for PM? Trump reckons that giving him a compliment is qualification for being a head of state.

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    Give Me a Valium Danny, My Brain's Capsizing

    Like a trapdoor spider, Derek pounces on nearby 'persons of interest' and drags them into his lair. Danny Lee, play-write, comedian, father and all round good egg came in to Castaway Studios to record an episode of More Than A Whelan with Sean Whelan. (look it up, it is ace). It was great to catch up with me old mate Dan and share stories of fatherhood and reflect on our childlike behaviour of past and present. We expose the story behind his unusual tattoos and find out how he came to have the instructions for a 20 dollar kettle tattood up his thigh, and the logo for Broom Library on his arm. Years ago, when I had a bar in Northcote, Dan was good enough to run a night called 'Willow Tales' where different guests were invited to tell their stories.

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    Corruption at Sacred Wimbledon and Cave Kids all out

    The kids are locked in the office and I have scavenged enough data to get the headlines on the phone. The Thai Cave Kids are all out, Corruption scandal at Wimbledon, , George Clooney crashed his Vespa and who ya gonna go for in the World Cup Final?

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    Never Work With Kids or Animals

    No Internet because TELSTRA SUCKS. Lucky the kids are around on the school holidays, so we tried out the three way interview with inexperienced mic handlers. They did well and we learned a lot about their ambitions (and ice cream). Learn the basics of the Human to Narwhal conversion operation.

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    Woolly Mammoth Clones and Safari Suits

    Another experiment with facebook goings on fizzes badly and we pick and choose happy stories. Man Shed's in the NT, Orange skies laundry for the homeless, Luke Gosling MP in a safari Suit, cloning the Woolly Mammoth, Birdsville Festival, Penalty shootouts and big baby Trump to fly over London.

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    Boys club Politics

    More on the Thai boys in the cave; Stupid old sexist bully politician doesn't know that is what he is; I'm getting new glasses so It is a quick show

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    Cave Kids Found, Basketbrawl and Plastic Bags

    The found the Cave Kids. Australian Basketball team in Brawl with Philippines team. Single use plastic bags are done for and online cruelty showing up human nature.

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    Bert's Gaff and Pompeii Dude was not stoned

    Derek's naive reactions to The Dresden spectacle shop concept, Bert Newton's gaff - an insensitive blunder or an inadvertent insight into the (awful) way it used to be in TV , and the poor dead Pompeii dude.

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    The kids call him Funny Chris

    It is MY BIRTHDAY and Chris popped in to have lunch. Next minute we are on the mics. Find out what a rock drumming youth working ex-plumber thinks about Poetry slams. Hear about how I nearly rode a hot air balloon across the Sahara with the Illuminati.

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    Sean M Whelan gets ambushed

    Today we present yesterdays news with a great, impromptu chat with Melbourne poet and podcaster Sean M Whelan. Just minutes before recording episode one of his new podcast 'More than a Whelan' we get an insight into what to expect.

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    Road Trip Show

    Today we try the mobile rig out using a hand held mic. overall pretty pleased. Dion reluctantly takes part as he is trapped in the drivers seat while Derek discusses middle aged man screen addiction, Australian spy drones, Newcastle's dark past and a lake with water in it.

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    Community Cup

    Yesterday we had a great day at the Reclink Community Cup at Collingwood Football Club's old home ground. Derek discuss's the pros and cons of headphones, Streakers and the danger of Poms with Hope.

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    Who Cares about Melania Trump's Coat

    Australia stays in the world cup (for now), Mrs Trump fashion Faux pas, Banks are Bad, New gear for the studio and Soccer players are big fat cheats (and nobody seems to know)

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    Trump tortures kids less

    Derek Myers talks as Donald Trump backpedals and decides to torture children slightly less, the day I fell over like an old person, a Nick Cave Statue in Warracknabeal and the Socceroos are still in the World Cup Football. Kite wars in Palestine, Silo art in Devenish and thanks to The daily Talk Show for inspiration to get on my arse and get talking.

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    Telstra mongrels

    Telstra cuts managements jobs - will they get worse or better? full rant. My MRI spinal results. Not so good but still using my hands. Prison problems, world cup coverage and more.

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    What Now? What Now Indeed

    The return of Derek's daily news format. The headlines from the day as sent to my phones inbox from the ABC, with added uninformed opinion.

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